Overcame the nursery!

Fair warning- this is completely an adoption related post!  After reading a countless number of books and attending a countless number of classes, both online and off, bonding/attachment has been imprinted in our minds in as many ways possible!  We read over and over and over things that would be harmful to bonding/attachment and things that would be helpful. We have read many true life stories of very bad bonding experiences and many about very positive bonding experiences. It has truly left us a little bit confused, worried and cautious. In the end, we just have to remember that EVERY adoption experience is so very different and so very individualized. Just like our other two have been so very different in every aspect, this one is going to have his own path as well. With all of this in mind, we had no expectations of how long it wld be before we were able to leave him for any amount of time with anyone but our parents. Four months have gone by, and we have truly missed our Sunday school class, we have juggled who would go to Sunday school which week and taken turns as much as possible. While we were fully prepared for an indefinite amount of time, there was no way for us to fully prepare for the effect/toll it would take on us. Please don't get me wrong, transition has been VERY good for us- we have had very few issues any larger than minor ones. When we read about the journeys of some of those that came home the same time as us or right after, they are having some larger struggles than us.... We have been blessed..... But we realized that we needed at least that one hour a week where we could both just sit and absorb. So we began a transition of staying in the nursery for the Sunday school hour. So the end of May-first of July I stayed with him the whole time in the nursery. He played and had a great time. The next time I stayed for a while then left for about 15 minutes before coming back. It took me a couple of times telling him I would be back and that I would always come back before he was okay with me leaving. Once I left, he played and was fine and ran to me saying mommy when I came back. We were gone from church for a week then on 6/22, we bit the bullet and tried to leave him the whole time. Again, it took me a couple times telling him I would be back, but he finally was ok with me leaving and played and did fine. He had to go to the bathroom in the middle but wouldn't go for our nursery worker, so she had to come get me for that and then I stayed for the last little bit but I was very pleased with his first stay in the nursery.  The lady that keeps our nursery has been there for a long time and she kept Ian and Kinzlee when they were there. I reminded her that I didn't have a problem letting the first two cry it out a little bit when I would leave them, but this time is a little bit different and I can't let him do that. I did ask her that if he got upset and was asking for me to not try to calm him down for more than a couple of minutes before calling me. She understood the difference and agreed to call me. We are blessed with someone that understands and agrees to what we ask!

Of course, every time we do something different or I see a little bit of a different behavior, I always worry that we have done something harmful to our bonding process. Thankfully, God gave me a husband that doesn't over analyze everything and reminds me of the positive bonding behaviors that we see daily and brings me back to OUR reality and OUR journey instead of the fear instilled by the millions of words I have read.