Custody Day!!!!

The day is finally here- the day we have waited for, planned for, and hopefully been properly prepared for.  There was a bookstore close by that I wanted to run into so BBob and Yaya headed to the hot tub with Ian and Kinzlee and Kendon and I headed to the bookstore.  We were not gonna be long so decided to just meet them downstairs in the little street market that is right out our back door and we would let the kids shop a little then head for lunch.  The book store wasn't the big one I thought it was going to be but they were still waiting for us when we were done.  We walked the market street (Insadong) for a little bit and were all hungry pretty early (still a tad bit on the wrong schedule) so we made a trip to mcdonalds. We picked up a few more little things in the market and a plant for Parker's foster mom then came back up to the room to make sure we had all our stuff together.

Once we had all our ducks in a row, mom, Kendon, and I made the trek on the subway to Eastern (where we would pick him up).

 We met our social worker on the first floor, did some paperwork formalities and she gave us a framed impression of his feet that was donated. 

This was completely unexpected and brought tears to my eyes- it is precious!! Then she led us up to the third floor where Parker was. When we got on the elevator there was a man getting off- she told us that was Parker's foster father and he went on back upstairs with us. We were really hoping he would be there today as we hadn't met him and really wanted to have pictures with him in them.

We went into the same room we had our very first meeting with him.  We played for a couple of minutes.  He wasn't shy like he was the first meeting, but we could tell he really wanted to be with his foster dad.  His foster mom started telling me what all she had brought for him in the bags.  She bought him a new bigger hanbok (so thoughtful!) since the one he wore for his first birthday wont fit him for very much longer.

She also included some of the clothes we had more recently sent and she had a little backpack for him full of a couple of toys we had sent and a couple of toys they bought for him.

She also sent a bag full of familiar foods.

Most importantly, we got a whole lot of pictures from his time with his foster family!  These are priceless and if I didn't get anything else for him- I desperately wanted some pictures. She also sent back all the picture books we had sent him- which are completely worn out!

I also gave her a book we made her family from shutterfly with all the pictures we had received from time of referral to our second meeting with him and a small succulent plant.  By the time we finished with this, our social worker said it was time to go up to the second floor where we would briefly meet with the director of Eastern and she would say a prayer for our family.  Parker took his foster dads hand and mine and off we went.

We got up to her office and said our hellos, she expressed thanks to our family and to his foster family said a prayer for our family and for Parker and we took a picture with her.  There was a lot of conversation in Korean between his foster parents and the director.  In the middle of one of these conversations she looked at me and said, "He (foster dad) told him not to cry with his new family, and Parker nodded yes." We quickly grabbed all of ours and his things and went outside to the van that would take us back to our hotel.  Parker's foster dad put him in the van, I gave them both a quick hug and told them thank you and I got in the van with Parker.  Kendon got in beside us after loading all the bags in the back and mom got in the front seat.  Both foster parents stepped up to the door and told Parker bye and he waved at them.  The driver had some candy on the console which Parker quickly found.  I picked him up and set him on my lap and we headed off to our hotel.  He sat very still and solemn in my lap and before we knew it he was asleep!  

Not what we expected AT all but made sense considering he usually takes a nap around 2 every day.  He slept the entire way back and stayed asleep in the hotel for a while, much to the disappointment of Ian and Kinzlee!  Kinzlee absolutely could not contain her excitement! 

When he finally woke up, they played like they knew each other.  Ian and Kinzlee quickly made him laugh and it was loud before we knew it! We finally got a family picture of the FIVE of us!

 The rest of the afternoon was amazing.  He was SO good!

 He played, he called kendon and I omma and appa and even repeated mommy and daddy!  He also repeated Ian, Kinzlee, YaYa, BBob, and a handful of other words.  We broke him in right with pizza for supper!

It got time for bed and we put the kids to bed.  I picked him up and walked just a few minutes with him and he laid his head down and went to sleep!  We laid him down in the bed and at this point I was beginning to worry just a tad.  All that kept going through my mind was our agency director saying several nights before on the phone, "its the ones that don't grieve that we worry most about."  Up until this point, we hadn't seen anything that showed us he was grieving or missing his foster parents.  Of course, my fellow adoptive mommas all said 'just wait!', 'it will come', 'every kid will grieve different'.  Of course, they were right!  After about a hour he woke up crying and calling for omma and appa.  I put him in the ergo carrier and walked around the hotel room with him.  It was hard.  He was sobbing so hard and calling for his foster parents.  This is what we had expected from the beginning, but even expecting it and being prepared for it- it was hard!  I could tell from this that he was much more of a 'mans baby'.  Kendon would walk up and put his hand on his head and talk to him and he would calm for a minute..  When Kendon would take his hand away and step back he would start looking for him.  So sweet and reassuring to see him wanting, reaching, looking for one of us!  He finally went to sleep in the carrier and slept all night once I laid him down.  His normal sleeping arrangement has been with both foster parents and a foster sibling all on a mat on the floor.  Now was not the time to change this!  He slept all night- very wildly slept!  He woke up about 6 AM again crying for his foster parents.  We asked him where Ian and Kinzlee were (already up in the living room!), and when they came in there he immediately started laughing and was ready to get off the bed and play!

EDIT:  I have finally figured out how to add video to my blog so wanted to add this one here.  Here is Ian already making Parker laugh on day 1!